BLOG

Using an integration of Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT) is a perfect marriage for deep healing and change in Psychotherapy - this is how I work, Mark Robinett, MFT

IFS (Internal Family Systems) therapy and EFIT (Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy) can form a powerful, synergistic combination when used together, because they address human emotional healing and attachment needs from complementary perspectives. Here's how they integrate to form a more complete, effective therapeutic approach: IFS focuses on internal parts (subpersonalities) within a person, helping individuals access their core Self to lead inner healing. EFIT, based on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), emphasizes attachment needs and emotional bonding, helping individuals explore vulnerable emotions to build secure emotional connection — both with themselves and others. Both therapies believe that emotional healing occurs in the presence of safety, compassion, and curiosity. They both treat emotional pain as adaptive signals rather than symptoms to be eliminated. IFS Provides Inner Structure; EFIT Deepens Emotional Access. IFS offers a clear framework for understanding internal conflict (e.g., parts that are afraid of vulnerability, or that criticize to protect). EFIT helps clients stay with and deepen core emotions, like fear, longing, shame, and sadness, that arise in the moment—especially those rooted in attachment trauma. Together: EFIT allows these emotions to surface in real-time, while IFS provides the tools to unblend from overwhelming parts, offering safety and clarity. This helps clients not be flooded by emotion, but instead relate to it compassionately. IFS Heals the Inner World; EFIT Repairs Attachment Patterns. IFS helps transform the inner system — unburdening wounded parts and fostering inner harmony. EFIT helps people create and experience secure attachment, even in individual therapy, by co-regulating with the therapist and forming corrective emotional experiences. IFS addresses internal relational wounds (such as the inner critic, exiles, protectors), while EFIT focuses on how those wounds show up in relationships. The combination allows healing at both the intrapersonal and interpersonal levels. IFS Helps Regulate Emotion; EFIT Uses Emotion to Restructure Experience. In IFS, the Self offers calm presence and compassion, creating space for healing. In EFIT, emotional moments are used as transformational opportunities—by leaning into them rather than avoiding them. IFS provides tools for regulation and safety, while EFIT encourages emotional depth and authenticity. The therapist can use IFS to ground the client when intense emotion arises, and then use EFIT to process and transform the emotion into something healing. From Internal Compassion to External Connection. IFS fosters self-compassion — understanding and accepting all parts. EFIT fosters attachment security — the ability to reach out and trust others emotionally. The result is a client who is more integrated internally and more connected externally. They develop the capacity to meet their own emotional needs and also to engage in healthy emotional relationships with others.

The Ideal Blend, IFS works with internal "parts" and emphasizes Self-leadership and inner harmony, and helps people unblend from reactive emotions, and builds self-compassion. EFIT works with emotional experiences in the here-and-now, it emphasizes emotional accessibility and responsiveness, helps people deepen into and transform core emotions and builds secure attachment. Used together, IFS and EFIT offer a complete emotional healing roadmap: IFS helps people understand and transform their internal emotional system. EFIT helps people process those emotions in the context of real-time connection and attachment needs. This combination can be especially effective for trauma, emotional dysregulation, relationship struggles, and identity wounds.

Creating Change 

Psychotherapy offers a unique way for a person to create healing and change in their lives. By engaging with a psychotherapist in an act of digging into problems or issues you want to improve or change, you are bringing in a helper into your inner world. People are often not able to make changes or healing happen by themselves, when you can its great. But when you cannot, bringing in a helper can be a very powerful tool. All of a sudden you are able to access places in yourself you could not before, you are able to go to new places and take actions that you were not able to before. There is a magic that happens when we have someone completely on our side to help us with our toughest struggles. This is the magic we human beings bring and give to each other with our presence and support.

Internal Family Systems Theory

Internal Family Systems theory (IFS) is a system of doing psychotherapy that is becoming more popular in the field of psychotherapy.  Basically it says that each person is made up of a number of parts and a Self, and the Self is the spiritual essence of a person.  In some other models the Self is analogous to the Adult self, the part of us that is kind, loving and caring for our parts.  And there is a distinction in IFS that the Self is not a part, it’s different, it doesn’t get hurt by trauma, and it’s always there and can come in to help, although sometimes parts won’t let it, or do not trust it.  

IFS says there are 2 kinds of parts, protector parts and exiled parts.  Protector parts are the parts that protect us from dangers or perceived dangers of life and do a lot of managing of our lives, and exiled parts are parts of us that have been locked away because they’ve been wounded or traumatized, and protector parts are afraid that if they were left exposed they would destabilize the system.  In the realm of protector parts there are managers, protectors and firefighter parts.  The managers and protector parts do their best daily to manage and protect you in the day to day challenges of life.  The firefighter parts are there to put out any emotional fires that appear to destabilize the system; they are similar to real firefighters in that they don’t care if they do some damage, their job as they see it is to do whatever it takes to put out the fire, squash an emotional upheaval that seems like it could shake up the person too much.  Firefighter behaviors are usually extreme and include drug and alcohol use, overeating, sexual behavior sometimes extreme, over exercise, cutting etc,.  And usually the exiled parts are what the protector and firefighter parts are worried about, they are worried that if the exiled parts get too triggered or exposed, too much emotion, pain, wounding will come up, so they want to keep these exiled parts hidden away so your system stays in balance.  

In using IFS in therapy, the ultimate goal is to heal the exiled parts.  But usually first we need to work with the protector parts to make sure they feel that it’s safe enough to do this work, to let the work proceed.  For example, there might be a part of a person that feels very afraid to let a therapist and the client work on an old trauma because the protector part believes that the trauma coming up would be too much for the client to handle and process.  So we work with that protector part to reassure it and do whatever helps it feel safe enough to let the trauma work proceed.  Once the protector parts feel OK about doing the deeper work to heal an exiled part I do that work, sometimes the IFS work does it and sometimes regular EMDR processing (of trauma) does the healing.  This part of IFS work is very important, healing the wounded part or parts. It can take time, and it takes time to work with the changes that we help parts make to help the changes stay in place - become integrated. After the healing of a wounded part, it’s then important to work with the protector parts to help them let go of roles they were playing, as those roles are no longer needed. This can be challenging because often it’s all these protector parts know how to be.

Emotionally Focused Therapy, Couples

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples is a short-term, evidence-based form of psychotherapy that focuses on adult relationships and attachment/bonding. It was developed primarily by Dr. Sue Johnson in the 1980s.  EFT is grounded in attachment theory, which suggests that emotional bonds are essential to human survival and well-being. It views relationship distress as rooted in unmet attachment needs.  EFT helps clients access and express deeper emotions that are often hidden beneath defensive or reactive behaviors. The goal is to transform negative emotional patterns that damage relationships.  Cycle De-escalation: In EFT, therapists help clients identify and de-escalate the negative interaction cycles (like blame-withdraw or pursue-distance) that maintain distress.  Restructuring Interactions: Partners are guided to express their attachment needs and emotions more openly and vulnerably, fostering empathy and deeper connection.  The final phase focuses on consolidating new interaction patterns and strengthening the couple's bond. EFT is for Couples (its most common application).

For Individuals there is Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy, EFIT

Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT) is a therapeutic approach grounded in attachment theory that helps individuals understand and transform emotional experiences to promote healing and personal growth. Developed as an extension of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), which was originally designed for couples, EFIT focuses on helping individuals identify core emotional patterns that keep them stuck, and unmet attachment needs that often underlie psychological distress. Through a supportive and attuned therapeutic relationship, clients are guided to access and process deep emotions, shift negative self-perceptions and negative patterns, and build stronger internal resources for resilience and connection. EFIT is also very good at working to heal trauma. The goal of EFIT is to foster emotional balance, self-compassion, and a more coherent sense of self, ultimately enabling clients to form more secure and fulfilling relationships with others and with themselves.